WHATS IN A NAME Feb2004

Maybe it’s a sign of old age, but have you noticed how everything seems to be changing its name nowadays? I didn’t mind so much when we chucked out Fahrenheit and replaced it with Centigrade – all part of decimalisation after all. But since when has it changed to Celcius? (yes, I know that technically they are not the same, but frankly I think that is a technicality we can all live without).

Then Geraniums, which we were all familiar with, became Pelargoniums, which we know not. And I’m sure I read somewhere that Adrenaline was henceforward to be referred to as Epinephrine, though this news had not reached my doctor. Of course it was to be expected that Rhodesia should disappear from the map, along with the Belgian Congo and other large tracts of Africa. But what was wrong with Peking? Why is it now Beijing instead? Both are only approximations to the Chinese pronunciation – which naturally varies considerably within China. And was it all the fault of Yung Chang that Mao Tse Tung morphed into Mao Zedong? Who is he?

Bombay became Mumbai, Burma became Myanmar, and American Indians became ‘first people’. And it gets worse. Until I searched the net, I was under the impression that the Kwakiutl (try saying that with a mouthful of porridge) had renamed themselves the Sto:lo (no, that is not a mistake). But apparently, the Sto:lo are another branch of the ‘first nation’ in what is now Canada. Our friends the Kawkiutl say that their real name is actually Kwakwaka’wakw (I may not have got that quite right), last heard of on Old McDonald’s Farm.

As an ageing computer techie, I suppose I have to hold up my hands and say that the prevalence of punctuation in names is all our fault – joe.public@email.com has led to all manner of mischief. The sensible sounding Cellnet became the mumble of MmO2, and my insurance company tried its best to distance itself from the public by changing to the unpronounceable Moreth>n. Still, that’s possibly better than calling yourself Monday – I can’t even remember what they used to be called. And why should a company with a world famous name like Guiness want to throw it away for the totally nondescript Diageo. Any day now, a water company is going to rebrand itself H2O, and a power company MC2 – you heard it here first.

I suppose the last word has to go to the artist formally known as Prince, who has simply abandoned the idea of a name altogether – maybe he wants to be forgotten.

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